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Cloda Goes Viral

                                       

     
       
 Cloda Pringle, 22, was heavily involved in the students’ union at her college in the southeast of Ireland. 2020 had been a year like no other for everyone on campus. Lectures were delivered online in light of the pandemic and Cloda had been confined to her campus apartment for weeks on end with only her roommates Clinton and Autumn for company. Luckily, she got along  well with both of them.

When they heard about an anti-fascist protest that was to be held in Dublin that coming Saturday, they thought it would be a perfect idea to attend. In fact, they were really fired up for it. Social media was alive with posts imploring students to come from all corners of the land and to voice their protest outside Leinster House where a pint-sized little Hitler wannabe from something called the Irish Patriot Party was due to give a speech. The anti-fascists intended to be there in great numbers to counter his message of hate. The police, no pun intended, were to be piggy in the middle of this tangle.

Both protesting sides had promised to largely adhere to social distancing guidelines. The guards did not believe them, but were letting the demonstrations go ahead to stop even bigger trouble from breaking out if the sides could not air their grievances in some public way. They would round up the ringleaders later when the fuss had died down and the issue was no longer dominating the news cycle. 

The excitement on the bus to Dublin was immense. Surrounded by her fellow students-cum-protestors, Cloda felt part of something bigger, something that was bringing change to society. She was happy, she had a warm fuzzy feeling, and she was keen to play her part.

Cloda was admired by the student body in general, she had natural leadership qualities and both lecturers and students alike reckoned her as “one to watch” in terms of carving out a successful career for herself whatever she decided to throw her hand at after college.

This idealistic, energised group disembarked from the bus at Merrion Square and proceeded at pace towards the protest site, their placards glinting in the September sun. They quickly found themselves amongst the larger group of anti-fascist protesters that had assembled at the top of Molesworth Street between Buswells Hotel and the Grand Lodge of Freemasons of Ireland.

The thin blue line, the Irish police, more commonly referred to as the guards, stood to attention on Kildare Street, guarding the peace by separating Cloda et al from the Patriots who flooded around the gates of Leinster House cheering on their diminutive dictator who was spewing bile down his bullhorn with gusto. 

“No more hate!” “Black lives matter!” “Fascists go home!” were just some of the slogans chanted by Cloda’s crowd in their attempt to drown out the Patriots who in turn responded with “Ireland for the Irish!” “All lives matter!” and “Close the borders now!”

Their leader, replete with said bullhorn, led these chants, his little hands clutching the instrument tightly and a glint of psychosis in his wild green eyes. The atmosphere was febrile, tense with the expectation that it could spill over into violence at any moment.

The guards stood calm but alert between the two sides ready to intervene should trouble break out. And that was exactly what happened next. A missile, hurled from the Patriots to the anti-fascists, caused the two sides to surge in rage towards one another. The guards drew their batons and deployed their riot shields and through a combination of patience and training kept the warring sides apart.

Things quietened down after about ten minutes of melee. That’s when Cloda noticed the injured woman beside her, blood streaming down her face from a gash above her left eye. Two friends were assisting her and people were filming with their phones as was a television crew from RTÉ. Turns out she was someone of note. Her name was Freda Furlong, one of Ireland’s foremost anti-fascist fighters, quite famous throughout the land and once the blood was cleared from her face Cloda realised who it was.

Freda Furlong: an icon to practically everyone on Cloda’s university campus, a veteran of the anti-fascist wars, the culture wars and even some of the academic theory wars of the 1980s. The injury to her face was quite serious as it was and, indeed, could have been a lot worse. She’d been hit by a bollard launched in the air by a so-called Patriot. It was that serious that an ambulance had been called and Freda Furlong would be going to hospital as a precaution.

The whole incident raised the hackles of Cloda. She was bloody angry. Angry at the fascist patriots and angry at the guards who at that moment were not taking immediate steps to arrest the hurler of the bollard who had injured the skull of one of Ireland’s most fearless social justice warriors. So angry was Cloda that she approached a sergeant of the police standing on the line to remonstrate with him about the injury to Freda. The sergeant was having none of it:

“She put herself in the line of fire,” he snapped. “It’s madness here today. We’re here to guard the peace not act as nurse and comforter to every agitator who’s jumping up and down spoiling for a fight. Now get back over to your side please, miss, or I’ll have you taken down to Pearse Street and you can cool your heels in a cell!”

Cloda bit her lip. She knew by the sergeant’s tone that he was out of patience. The threat of being placed in a cell was clearly to be taken seriously. So she sneered at him and walked away, back to her own crowd. An ambulance trundled up Molesworth Street to take Freda Furlong to hospital. The Irish Patriot Party leader piped up again, once more with feeling, to the delight of the rabble following him and hanging on his every word. These speeches of his were their daily bread.

Seeing Freda the injured heroine being placed gently in the back of the ambulance infuriated Cloda all the more. And her anger was principally towards the police more so than the fascists. There was only one thing she could think of doing at that point to assuage her anger. It was the modern day’s most fashionable fallback protest position. She pulled out her phone and took to Twitter, where she maintained a healthy complement of some 30,000 followers, not bad for a girl of 22 who’d yet to make her mark in the world (though she was undoubtedly on her way to doing so).

“I can’t express right now just how much I hate the fucking guards! Freda Furlong has been injured by a fascist and the sergeant I spoke to doesn’t want to know!! #dublinprotest”

Having tweeted this, in haste and in anger, Cloda felt satisfied immediately having gotten it off her chest. The tweet itself took on a life of its own with likes, retweets and comments gathering pace quickly. Cloda had a viral tweet on her hands. The numbers ran into the high thousands. The comments in the main were pro-Freda, pro-Cloda and very much anti-police. The thread was hijacked for a spell by the Patriots but they were beaten back by the Cloda backers quite quickly, though that didn’t stop them from continuing to return.

The physical protest and counter protest died down after about another hour. The Patriots had aired their views, the anti-fascists had tried to howl them down and the guards in the middle had done what they do best and maintained the thin blue line between order and chaos. The skirmish midway through proceedings during which Freda Furlong was injured had actually proved a great way for both sides to let off steam. Now it was time for everybody to go home. 

Along with her fellow students, Cloda made her way back to Merrion Square where a bus was waiting to take them out of the city and back down the motorway to college. As they boarded they felt a sense of pride that their protest had been a success and they had acquitted themselves well in the capital city. A tired Cloda sat back in her seat and scrolled Twitter on her phone where her tweet was still generating a buzz. Her notifications were hopping. Other students on the bus said things to her like:

“Hey, Cloda, you’re trending!” and “Well said, girl, the guards are a disgrace!”

She smiled a tired smile glad of the attention. She loved Twitter and the opportunity it gave her to speak to the world, and she loved in particular, as the bus headed through the early evening, the fact that her tweet about the guards was very definitely going viral. She hoped that sergeant from the protest today would read it. That’ll show him, she thought, the little twerp!

As the bus pulled into the college grounds she took another look at her phone. In point of fact she had hardly been able to put it down all the way home. She was delighted to see the tweet had now amassed twenty-seven thousand likes and five thousand retweets. Oh yeah, sock it to the man! She was in the vanguard of a revolution.  

She alighted from the bus with her roommates Clinton and Autumn and they made their way to their block and up in the lift to their quarters. Entering the flat they got a terrible shock. The place had been turned over violently, looked like every press and drawer was upended. Their laptops were gone, their passports, some money (not much thankfully) they had kept in a wallet for groceries. And Autumn and Cloda’s jewellery (some of it worth a few bob). The three of them stood in stunned silence till Clinton said:  

“We’re going to have to call the guards. This is some serious break-in we’ve had.”

Autumn and Cloda could only nod and agree. Cloda’s phone was still pinging with the ongoing notifications pertaining to her viral tweet. The fuss around it hadn’t died down since she had tweeted it in Dublin hours earlier. #dublinprotest was the biggest trending topic on Irish Twitter that day. Clinton and Autumn had been following the whole fuss with great enjoyment all the way home, too. Cloda had always wanted to have a viral tweet but now she was in a bind. Her ambition to go viral had been achieved with an anti-police tweet on the very day she and her flatmates needed the police. Their overrun apartment was proof of that. Now they wanted some justice.

“Call them so,” Cloda said. “Let’s hope they’re not on Twitter.”

“Actually, why don’t you delete your tweet?” Autumn said.

“Yeah, Cloda,” Clinton said. “Delete it.”

She thought about it for a moment. Socking it to the man was all very well but sometimes you needed him around. She took out her phone.

“Yeh, I think I will,” she said.

She pressed delete and then called the police.   

© Brian Ahern 2021

                                              

                                             


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