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Showing posts from May, 2019

The Drayman and the Horse

Grudge Galmount needed something to put the brakes on his racing mind. So he allowed his thoughts (ordered them in fact) to travel back to the early 1800s: The drayman was leading his horse into Raytown and missed his road, walking accidentally into the Liffey along with the nag and their bounteous cart of four big barrels of Arthur's finest. Both man and horse drowned. Piteously, the drayman left a young dependent family behind him. Of crews of fishing boats nearby, nobody intervened, though some did scramble for the bobbing barrels. Something needs to be done, Grudge thought, from his vantage point of 2019. Bollards and chains placed at the dockside. It should never happen again. This resolution becalmed him, and his thoughts slowed down. ©Brian Ahern 2019

Refugee Effigy Punch-Drunk in Bludgeon Pub

                                      (Taken from The Evening Lies 07/07/2017 by reporter Todd Flesk) Proud pub landlord Ronan Colreavy spoke yesterday of his delight at an effigy of a refugee he has displayed in his bar The Wife Beater in Bludgeon city centre. “The reaction has been fantastic, my regulars love it and it’s great for business,” gushed Ronan, licking his lips and showing euro signs in his eyes. The idea was hit upon by a few of ‘The Lads’, as the pub regulars are known. They had been drinking all day, after an important Premiership morning clash, when Dano Scutts (a drinker at The Wife Beater for over 20 years) got onto the subject of refugees. He said he was sick of seeing blacks all over the place and that they had ruined whole streets with their stinking shops. Jimbo Rancid, a stalwart patron of The Wife , stated that he was starting...