Some years ago, armed with little more than a teaching English as a foreign language (Tefl) certificate, I flew to Madrid. Upon arrival I hooked up with a Canadian teacher pal who showed me the pedagogical ropes. Pretty soon I got a job in a school, having turned up for the interview clean and sober, dangling my certificate and giving it lots of blarney. Within days I was teaching classes. Within days, too, I was immersed in the famed Madrileño nightlife - albeit on a shoestring budget. I'd loaf around Plaza Mayor in the evenings drinking cheap beer, staying out until all hours. Myself and a crew of fellow teachers from a diversity of nations, true internationalists, would stumble through the streets like minstrels of old, chugging on booze, replenished at intervals from Chinese corner shops. Strangely, I always seemed to be the one who stayed out the latest, drank the most, and could remember the least from the nights before. Needless to say when I fetched up at school on t...